Sunday, March 6, 2011
Monday, February 28, 2011
Revival
Our vacation was just what I needed... although I am not sure 2 weeks with a toddler and no childcare is really much of a "vacation"... ;) Smoosh picked up a bug and woke up at 5am every day, wouldn't take a nap except in the car, and tried his best to destroy everything in his path. Still, it was wonderful. I tore through the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo and it's successor, played on the beach, went out for a romantic Valentine's dinner with DH, a wild martini night with my sister, and my parents got to spend lots of time with the babe.
I am doing fine with the M/C I think, although it is hard re-adjusting everything in my mind. Even though I was only PG for a few weeks, I had a whole version of what the rest of the year, the summer, our LIFE was going to look like. I won't be PG at the river this summer or at my BFs wedding, I won't have kids 2 years apart. I don't need to start looking for baby swings or researching cloth diapering again.
I am doing fine with the M/C I think, although it is hard re-adjusting everything in my mind. Even though I was only PG for a few weeks, I had a whole version of what the rest of the year, the summer, our LIFE was going to look like. I won't be PG at the river this summer or at my BFs wedding, I won't have kids 2 years apart. I don't need to start looking for baby swings or researching cloth diapering again.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Intuition
I woke up Sunday from a horrible dream. I was chasing after one of my clients, a young girl who recently had a miscarriage (in real life) and I realized I was bleeding. I went to the bathroom and there was red blood. I wasn't really surprised. I went back to bed and told my husband and cried for awhile and went back to sleep. When I woke up in the AM, we went to the ER. They did an exam and found the cervix open, did blood work and found I was still PG, did an ultrasound and found the baby only measuring around 5 weeks and no heartbeat. I had to have a rogan shot since I am 0- blood, and went home with a prescription for some pain pills and an order of bed rest for 2 days. I am supposed to have my betas done again in 48 hours to confirm.
The hospital was clean and nice DH and DS were able to hang out with me and watch HGTV. But, I am a little confused as to why I had to have a horrible internal exam and get scraped and swabbed when they could and were going to just look with the u/s anyway, And who cares about my betas anymore if there is no heartbeat? My first appointment is already scheduled for tomorrow, so I guess I need to inform them that the situation has changed. If they had listened to me last week, would any of this be any better? I guess not. We will see what happens tomorrow. I am praying that I don't need a D&C.
Mentally, I am fine. The pregnancy wasn't planned and I the timing wasn't great. Emotionally, it is another story. However, with something like 20% of pregnancies not making it past the 1st trimester, I kind of feel like it is a common rite of passage of womanhood that I am going through and I will be stronger in the end.
We leave for the Caribbean on Thursday. Perfect timing for big dinners with my family, running on the beach with DS, and some alone time with DH - which will now include NON virgin pina coladas. And there, my friends, is the silver lining.
The hospital was clean and nice DH and DS were able to hang out with me and watch HGTV. But, I am a little confused as to why I had to have a horrible internal exam and get scraped and swabbed when they could and were going to just look with the u/s anyway, And who cares about my betas anymore if there is no heartbeat? My first appointment is already scheduled for tomorrow, so I guess I need to inform them that the situation has changed. If they had listened to me last week, would any of this be any better? I guess not. We will see what happens tomorrow. I am praying that I don't need a D&C.
Mentally, I am fine. The pregnancy wasn't planned and I the timing wasn't great. Emotionally, it is another story. However, with something like 20% of pregnancies not making it past the 1st trimester, I kind of feel like it is a common rite of passage of womanhood that I am going through and I will be stronger in the end.
We leave for the Caribbean on Thursday. Perfect timing for big dinners with my family, running on the beach with DS, and some alone time with DH - which will now include NON virgin pina coladas. And there, my friends, is the silver lining.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
No Symptoms :/
SO I have kind of been freaking out. I have no symptoms to speak of. No sore breasts, my stomach is now totally flat (not bloated at all which it was when I first tested), no nausea, not particularly starving. I am tired, but that may be because I switched to de-caff/ half-caff. I told DH about my concerns and he insisted I call the Dr office to see if I can get some kind of check before next week. The receptionist put me on with the nurse who said there was nothing they could do before 8 weeks, except a blood test which would be the same as a HPT. Really? I know I have heard ladies on the boards talking about getting beta's and levels and numbers doubling to confirm everything is OK. I know I am not high risk, so I don't deserve any special treatment or anything, but I a pretty sure they could check somehow. I guess I just wait until another week and hope I just having a very easy pregnancy so far. I know they are all different, I was just SO sick with DS by this time.
I wrote this the other day then decided to post it to the boards instead. After encouragement from lots of girls with no symptoms, I calmed down a bit. Still, feeling a little nervous. Oh well.
I wrote this the other day then decided to post it to the boards instead. After encouragement from lots of girls with no symptoms, I calmed down a bit. Still, feeling a little nervous. Oh well.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Baby Things
I guess you only get to register the first time, huh? ;) Still, it is nice to keep a little list for myself - and they have come out with so many more cute things in the last 2 years!!
I made my first Dr appointment and it isn't for another 2 weeks. Here, they see you at 8 weeks and do an U/S. That is fine, but it means 2 more weeks of wondering how far along I am and worrying about whether everything is ok in there. I told one of my bfs since we are kinda pregnancy buddies (and I have ot have SOMEone to talk to). I am waiting until after the dr to tell our parents.. and probably 12 weeks for everyone else. I am just a kind of cautious person in that way.
Some things I am thinking about for baby #2
Uppa Baby has a rumble seat! This is so cool, I just strap it onto our Vista and viola - instant double stroller! It also fits with the car seat in the adapter (which we have) and clicks back off if you want to back to a single!
Where will baby sleep?
I am thinking of a rocking bassinet holder, in which I will put the Uppa Baby Bassinet. I can't imagine I will use it in the stroller much around here. I am guessing we will be using the car seat more since we now drive everywhere. I better watch out for flat head this time around! This was NOT a concern in NYC.
Otherwise, nothing to report. No morning sickness - yet - pleassssse not this time! Tired, but DH has been out of town so that is exhausting anyway. Bloated, so bought 4 new pairs of "yoga" pants AKA "stretchy wear-24-hours-a-day-and try to look like I have been working out not just wearing my pajamas" pants. Slowly making the switch to decaff. Not easy, but DH brought me some AMAZING Blue Bottle coffee (in decaff) back from NYC so that should ease the pain.
xox
I made my first Dr appointment and it isn't for another 2 weeks. Here, they see you at 8 weeks and do an U/S. That is fine, but it means 2 more weeks of wondering how far along I am and worrying about whether everything is ok in there. I told one of my bfs since we are kinda pregnancy buddies (and I have ot have SOMEone to talk to). I am waiting until after the dr to tell our parents.. and probably 12 weeks for everyone else. I am just a kind of cautious person in that way.
Some things I am thinking about for baby #2
Uppa Baby has a rumble seat! This is so cool, I just strap it onto our Vista and viola - instant double stroller! It also fits with the car seat in the adapter (which we have) and clicks back off if you want to back to a single!
Where will baby sleep?
I am thinking of a rocking bassinet holder, in which I will put the Uppa Baby Bassinet. I can't imagine I will use it in the stroller much around here. I am guessing we will be using the car seat more since we now drive everywhere. I better watch out for flat head this time around! This was NOT a concern in NYC.
Otherwise, nothing to report. No morning sickness - yet - pleassssse not this time! Tired, but DH has been out of town so that is exhausting anyway. Bloated, so bought 4 new pairs of "yoga" pants AKA "stretchy wear-24-hours-a-day-and try to look like I have been working out not just wearing my pajamas" pants. Slowly making the switch to decaff. Not easy, but DH brought me some AMAZING Blue Bottle coffee (in decaff) back from NYC so that should ease the pain.
xox
Monday, January 24, 2011
Motherhood is so en vogue these days..
Model-of-moment Arizona Muse with her son in this month's Vogue.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
So....Yeah.. :)
This is kind of unexpected. I mean, we have been talking about it a lot and I have been stressing about it a lot. (e.g. When? Will I be too old? Will I still have time to have 3? But where will we be?? Blah blah blah)
DH is thrilled and I am honestly still a little in shock. But so very excited. I cannot remember for my life when I had my period last month. I know it was somewhere between the 10th- the 25th... The holidaze, right!? So I am 4-6 weeks? Another September baby!!
I have a feeling I am going to be blogging a LOT more again. So many details to obsess over, new products to research, and conversations with family members/strangers/myself to be emotional about. :)
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