Sore Boobies...again

I am expecting AF in a week and they are super sore again, just like the last few months. Apparently, if they are usually sore, they aren't if you are KU, and vice versa. Does that make sense? Sigh. I was sad yesterday and I think that is why. This is starting to really take an emotional toll on me, the big NO month after month. I know it has only been 4 cycles, but it seems longer.

It always felt like I had so much time to do anything and everything I ever wanted and now I feel like my dream of having a big family with 4 kids is slipping away. My friends who are having big families already have 2 or 3... It appears that I am getting quite the late start. :(

Umm

I am really awful at charting... I am on vacation and I just can't seem to commit. I didn't even manage to take an OPK this time but I just don't want to do it this month. I just want to have fun and not obsess.
Not to mention being around my parents makes me feel like a little retarded kid - not really something that makes me in the mood. Plus they have to go on about the economy, how we don't have real jobs. When we arrived, I looked in the guest room and there was a little travel crib set up! I asked if this was a hint, but no, they have some guests coming with a baby in a few weeks and Dad took that time to say something like "yeah, this would be a GREAT time for you guys to have kids" (totally sarcastically) since I was laid off from my regular income and we are just living off DH and my business. Hello, I am 31!!! AND I make more money and am more successful than they have ever been! They have just inherited quite a bit of money and are using it to retire (fine) and not giving me any. Whatever. I am sure that when it happens, they will be happy, but they are already getting on my nerves and making me nervous.

DH and I managed to escape on our own for 2 nights (see chart) so with some amazing luck that could have been O time.

I HEART THIS BEDDING

Picture it in a white or espresso sleigh crib.. This is gender neutral, right? Sooo adorable. I will keep an eye out for it on sale. I have time- at least 9 months to a year- to find it on sale.

Mushroom Risotto

It's stormy and rainy tonight, so I am going to make some nice comforting Mushroom Risotto. Oh how I love MARTHA.





Ingredients

Serves 4
6 to 8 cups Homemade Chicken Stock, or canned low-sodium chicken broth, skimmed of fat
1/4 ounce dried wild mushrooms, such as porcini
9 ounces assorted fresh wild mushrooms
7 tablespoons olive oil
1/2 cup finely chopped shallots
1 cup Arborio or Carnaroli rice
1/2 cup dry white wine
4 to 6 tablespoons unsalted butter
1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese, plus more for grating or shaving
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
Directions

Heat stock in pan over medium heat. Add dried mushrooms; cook until tender, about 5 minutes. Remove with slotted spoon; chop finely. Keep stock at a simmer over medium heat.
Remove stems from fresh mushrooms; chop finely. Slice caps 1/4 inch thick. Heat 1 tablespoon oil in heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium heat. Add mushroom caps; cook, stirring occasionally, until golden and soft, about 3 minutes. Transfer to bowl. To pan, add remaining 6 tablespoons oil, mushroom stems, and shallots. Cook, stirring, until translucent. Add rice; cook, stirring, until rice begins to sound like glass beads, 3 to 4 minutes.
Add wine. Cook, stirring, until wine is absorbed by rice. Using a ladle, add 3/4 cup hot stock to rice. Using a wooden spoon, stir rice constantly, at a moderate speed. When rice has absorbed most but not all of liquid and mixture is just thick enough to leave a clear wake behind the spoon when stirring, add another 3/4 cup stock.
Continue adding stock in this manner, stirring constantly, until rice is mostly translucent but still opaque in center. Continue cooking until rice is al dente, but not crunchy. As rice nears doneness, watch carefully; add smaller amounts of liquid. The mixture should be thick enough that grains are suspended in liquid the consistency of heavy cream. The risotto will thicken slightly when removed from heat.
Add dried mushrooms and mushroom caps; warm over low heat. Remove from heat. Stir in butter and Parmesan; season with salt and pepper. Divide among four bowls; grate Parmesan over risotto. Serve immediately.

Trouble In Paradise

It's difficult to think about TTC when I am arguing with my husband. It hardly ever happens, but when it does it seems like things will never be the same again and I will never love him again. This usually lasts for a few hours, then the smoke clears, things suddenly look different. It is over and we are madly in love again. But that hasn't happened yet and I can't stand him right now. The though of having his child revolts me.
I think today's tiff is a classic in the marriage handbook. I am NAGGING him. Oh please. DH and I both work mostly from home, so we can really get on each other's nerves after a while. I may have been doing a little nagging lately, but he has somehow slept past noon every day this week and then spent every available waking minute playing his new video game. Yes, VIDEO GAME on his computer. Top that off with not filling up the Brita pitcher, then repeatedly LICKING the taco grease off his hands after dinner, and again after lunch today and there you have it. WW III.
To be fair, he does have a lot going on right now with his career AND big birthday coming up- the big 3.0. I think this may have a little something to do with the video game regression thing. I guess it is maybe a good thing I am not PG already, it might be a little too much at once. UGH. In the interest of getting a move on with our future family making, I am thinking of emailing him this.... I heart Tracy Chapman.

Totally Inappropriate Post...

.......about a few items I have my eye on...... Paige Maternity Jeans (my favorite - I can't believe she makes these!), Adorable Gap Sweaters, Fabulous Storksak Diaper Bag (this is is the ONLY cute diaper bag I have seen. Period. And it is not because apparently Angelina Jolie has it - I vow that I will NOT become that person.), and some lush organic bedding and towels...
I know this is pathetic since I am not even pregnant yet, but I am a planner and I can't help it!

Products I Love

CD 2 - how boring. My chart looks like it's never going to make any progress, I don't think I took my temp at exactly the same time as yesterday. Oops. I am just going to focus on getting my body in better shape and taking my mind off this craziness. A do believe that everything we put on our bodies winds up IN our bodies, so I am slowly replacing everything I can with organic and natural products. So far, here are some of my favs:

Dr.Haushka Facial Cleanser, Toner, and Rose Day Cream
Tom's Of Maine deodorant and toothpaste
Giovanni Organic Smooth as Silk Shampoo and Conditioner
Method Eucaliptis Mint Tub and Tile Bathroom Cleaner
Mrs. Myers Clean Day Lemon Verbena Dish Soap, Laundry Detergent and Fabric Softener
Dr.Bronners Peppermind Hemp Castile Soap

One thing I haven't been able to switch over to is my dishwasher soap. I just love the little Dawn packet things and I can't stand the wine glasses coming out spotty. If anyone has a suggestion, I would love to hear them!

Cute Family

Model/Environmentalist Angela Lindvall with her kids at her hippy ranch in Topanga Canyon..

Cycle came to an abrupt end this morning...

..when I got my period. At CD 22. So strange, that is 4 days early! At least I didn't have time to waste any HPTs. So it's going to be scenario B this Christmas. Business (rum punch) as usual. Except I think our "special time" will be as soon as we arrive at my parent's house, so that will be awkward. We have our own room and everything, but my parents are up at the crack of dawn and always creeping around, going on walks, taking the dogs out, having the housekeeper come, etc. Not a lot of privacy. Luckily, we always take a few days, leave our dogs with my parents, and go camping by ourselves at the beach on another island. Maybe I will have to push that trip forward to the beginning of our trip instead of waiting a few days until my parents start to drive us crazy. :)



This is some "blood art" (take a wild guess) I found on Live Journal (user, Bluttee). The theme is supposedly "fertility".

Charting, Sort of...

I really am trying to chart, but I guess I am still trying to get the hang of it. I got the thermometer but I was getting some strange temps. According to my chart, I am basically an icicle. This may not be too far off, I am always cold, but I have never seen a chart like mine. Then we went away for T-Day and I forgot the thermometer. Oh well, the O ing part was over anyway, but now I want to see if my temps are dropping (indicating period on it's way) or rising (indicating) pregnancy. It would just be too pathetic to try to stick temps in this week. If anyone (as in on the Bump boards) sees the chart they will for sure say it is totally useless. I guess it really doesn't matter as long as you have sex at the right time, you still have to wait it out like everyone else. I DID oder opk tests strips, and they worked. That was exciting, seeing at least SOME kind of a positive something. I also had the EWCM so I am pretty optimistic this cycle. Last cycle I had none and it just didn't seem right at all.

OK, OK, Here it is... So bad.

Manic Organic

The first book I am reading to prepare is The Complete Organic Pregnancy. These girls seem a little crazy sometimes, but it has GREAT lists of chemicals to avoid in paints, cosmetics, cleaning products. It also has good lists of which groceries are most important to buy organic. Milk and eggs are really important because of the creepy hormones, and some veggies get have more chemicals soaked through their skins than others.

I have also started making my own cleaning products out of vinegar, baking soda and essential oils. I am slowly using up the old stuff first, so we will surely be totally non-toxic by the time we have a baby! I am sure it will better for us, the environment, and the dog babies as well.

Getting Started

A few months ago, my husband and I decided to start - well, to stop trying NOT to have a baby. This is very much easier said than done in many ways.

First of all, why didn’t I know that there are only a few days a months one can get pregnant? Why doesn’t everyone know that? More on this later.

Second, once the possibility of getting pregnant is in your head, it is IMPOSSIBLE not to think about it- every twinge, ache, soreness, and everything else could be an early pregnancy symptom, or just normal bodily functioning that you didn’t used to notice because you were too busy having a normal life.

So far, things are going well I suppose. This is my 3rd cycle and I have figured a few things out. Like that the reason I have never been able to figure out when I am going to get my period is because I have a short cycle- 26 days.I always assumed that a cycle lasted a month, so I should get it the same time every month, but that never really worked out. Well, since my cycle is only 26 days, that means it shifts at least a week per month. (”See, sweetie, it doesn’t just SEEM likeI am always getting or having my period, I really do have it more often than most women….”). It turns out that the only time this is a good thing is when trying to get pregnant, because you have more “chances” at it.

I have come to rely on my favorite system of rewarding myself for things that are pretty much out of my hands just to feel better. i.e. “If I am pregnant this time, we get to buy something. If not, we go out for Sushi and Mojitos.” I manage to find a good plus/minus scenario every time. This month is especially win/win because we are going to the Caribbean to see my parents.

SCENARIO A. Pregnant= get to tell my family and get lots of presents and attention (maybe).

SCENARIO b. Not Pregnant= Get to party and drink as per usual (Painkillers on the beach in the BVI, Christmas grog, Rum Punch and dancing)

I am now in what is affectionately called the 2ww (two week wait), so I will let you know in a few days whether we will have scenario A or B this Christmas.