39 weeks, 5 days

:::Tapping fingers on counter::

So much for my maternal premonitions of having an early delivery. Sigh.

Wednesday night was total hell. I had contractions throughout the day, which turned into painful stabbing from about 9 to midnight. I couldn't sleep at all. DH got home from band practice around then and we started timing. They were anywhere from 4 - 12 minutes apart and varied from being stabbed in the crotch pain to just uncomfortable tightening. I was crying, and being SO mean to DH. Poor thing. I eventually got into the bath and had some wine and that slowed things down. DH did all the dishes and packed the rest of my bag, just in case. He is so sweet. :) By 5AM they must have stopped because I fell asleep, only to be woken back up at 7 with more.. But they never got time able and they eventually ended.

So, yesterday we were pretty optimistic and ran around getting all our errands done on 2 hours of sleep. I had a few contractions throughout the day and by dinner the stabbing pain started again and I was so exhausted, I broke down. I couldn't take another night like that. I called the OB and she said it isn't labor if it isn't time able and that I could take half a Benadryl to sleep. I guess that worked, I don't remember anything after that until waking up at 8:30 this morning (late for me!)

I know the baby is on his own schedule, and he isn't even late yet. I have to keep telling myself that. Every day is one day closer, but it doesn't feel like that. Every day and I feel more hopeless instead. I just feel so pressured, even though everyone is doing their best to not make me feel that way.

Here is the thing. MIL was in town all week..for business of course, but also hoping to be here for the birth. She is coming back Monday hoping to meet the baby. My dad has arrived on Long Island for his conveniently timed Lifeguard Reunion. He will be here in Brookyln Monday and Tuesday night hoping to meet the baby.. His facebook status even said he is coming to NY to " help birth his first grandchild"! I am not sure what that is supposed to mean, he is not going to be in the delivery room even if he is here, but whatever.. Anyway, they both say they are happy just to see us, but otherwise they won't see the baby until Thanksgiving so I would just love for it to work out.

Then, of course, DHs band is booked for a big festival the weekend after the EDD. This was booked before I got PG and he has told the band all along that they can't go if the baby isn't born yet. Still, it is a huge deal for them, it pays well, they are on the big stage this year, so many big bands will be there.. His sister already booked a flight to be there..I will be so upset if he misses it. The tour van has to be cancelled by Tuesday if they aren't going. No pressure.

Not to mention, my mom is coming to stay with me while DH is gone. No baby, and mom will have to get a hotel instead (she offered thank God) and pretty much be here waiting around.

I know a lot of people induce on or near their due date. I am actually shocked at how many women on the bump are saying their OBs are offering inductions after 37 weeks, just because the baby is supposedly done growing. This just isn't true by the way! We talked to the OB about it, and we are absolutely not going to induce the baby unless medically necessary, and she lets you go to 42 weeks if all is well. DH says the show means nothing compared to our child's entire life and we want him to get the best start possible and come out when he is ready.

I just can't help but feel stressed. I am such a planner and I have trouble giving up my ideas of how I picture things perfectly in my head. I just have to stay calm and positive and remember that what will be will be. Here's to another day closer to having our sweet baby.